| so... |
[03 Sep 2009|10:33pm] |
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mood |
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 amused |
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how do you hit on women so they know you think they're pretty and whatnot but you don't just want to hop in bed with them, you actually want to get to know them and stuff?
Without being way too intense. I'm going for funny, charming, sweet, here.
God help me. I am way too serious.
I also catch way too many crabs in crew and today it really killed my elbow.
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| I think I forgot to post this before... |
[03 Sep 2009|10:09pm] |
7/17/09
So here I am, my first time camping alone. All’s going well so far, aside from being slightly disillusioned with friends. Oh well, I am happy to have my alone time. Not to mention I am a little scared being out here in the woods all alone. Bla bla, you know. I’m not concerned, because I have a knife next to me. And I have taken other precautions. But I don’t know why someone would stumble upon me. Dinner was good, the fire started quickly. I hope for the same tomorrow, since I was silly enough to leave all the firestarters and wood outside. Might be a little damp tomorrow, but maybe not. Nonetheless, I have food that doesn’t need to be cooked, so I should be alright. I am a little scared of bears, I’ll admit. LOL
I can hear people wooing at Hiawatha. Maybe I would go to hear the music if I knew who was playing and had a flashlight, since I’m so far away from the designated campsite, but I’m not really interested. I just chose today because there’d be a lot of people around if I needed them. And the music sounds fine from here. The night is much less interesting than the day, and darned if I’m not already tired at 11:30p. But I have been walking all day. I got in, got my wristband, found my campsite.
They were already out of tent spots or whatever they are, and the lady who sold me my wristband asked me like three times to make sure I wasn’t going to set up a tent. But I lied mwa ha. Instead I just walked way away, set my stuff up on the mountain ROTC uses for balaying or whatever the word is. Walked through the woods to find a parking spot closer to my campsite. Found a little drive that cops must use, and drove my car there and brought in the rest of my stuff, cooler and such.
Set up my tent and bag, grabbed firewood, grabbed stones to create a ring, took some pictures, hiked around, met some friends and random kids from Marquette that were really cool. They took me and whoever else was brave enough through these crevice caves in a rock mountain nearby. It was fucking awesome and exhilarating and damn scary, I’ll admit. Okay, it is bed time. Good night!
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| chary is the word of the day. |
[29 Aug 2009|08:39am] |
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Back and forth.
Joining crew. Went to "tryouts" yesterday and performed the swim test, watched a silly rowing safety video, then learned soon-to-be-proper technique.
Miracle Whip really needs to stop peddling its product to the 18-24 crowd. Their commercials do not make one bit of sense. Miracle Whip =/= Rebellious
Man, organizations need to lose some love for their products.
I am so hungry. Work from 8a-4p, and I felt way too nauseous this morning to eat. It's because Dani slept at Jay's house. I wish she would just chill the eff out on this whole situation, but I suppose I couldn't slow down either, when I was more immature. *sigh* Just sucks to be involved in it. I keep fantasizing about fighting her. We watched Ellen do stand up last night, though, before she dipped. It was a good time.
Other cool things aside from crew (hopefully the weather clears up here so we can hit the water today and tomorrow), are Radio X dj-ship, and TAing for PY 100. I prepped yesterday for my radio show, so whenever I get trained in enough to play my own (non-cursing) music, I'll be ready. Tossed some good songs in a playlist. I need to get music from SayJay, though. She's got such good taste in music. *tear for all my lost music*
So friggin' tired. I slept with the mitten-kitten, Dori, last night. She is not the calmest bedmate, and jumped on my head and played with my hands a lot. When she's been playing out in the house, she will NOT stay out of Puck's cage, which is a pain because Puck needs his space. They've been playing well, out in the living room and such. Nonetheless, a bunny needs his space.
So sleepy. I hope the weather clears up. I want to grill out, and I want to hit the water.
Ooh! And cross your fingers for me! Eddie and I are planning on roadtripping downstate to visit her Holland hometown, and potentially to also visit Ms. OMFGI<3UErin. I would be so freaking happy to see her beautiful face and that awesome smile and her dreamy eyes. Whoa, just thinking about her and imagining her has lifted my spirits. Very nice.
I need to think of some nice presents to get her. I know she likes creative, natural things, and tea, and is vegetarian. Maybe a book and one or two other thingys? I dunno, God. Just thinking about giving her a present makes me feel so embarassed-shy-awkward. Like some little kid with a crush on her kindergarten teacher. I just have no idea how to approach her with my liking. The lust isn't a problem, but man.
Eddie says I should be careful, because Erin isn't looking for a relationship. Not that I'm trying to shove her into a relationship box, but I call bs on that. From what I've heard Erin, she's still heartbroken, and I respect that, and she wants to be free because she has a problem with dependency, and I respect that too.
I told Eddie how I felt and she seemed kind of touched: "You really care about her, don't you?" "YES!"
I mean, I just called her eyes "dreamy." Wtf, Ray?
I really can't foresee any problems with just getting to know each other. Aside that we may become attached. But I'll try and hold it back, and should that happen we certainly live far enough from each other to have our own lives. Here's hopin', folks!
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| new year and enlightenments abound |
[02 Jan 2009|02:09am] |
These past few days have been, of course, rough. But still, I'm having an awesome time. Went to Churchill's for New Year's. Awesome live music. Made me want to fuckin be one with everyone.
Movie day today. Watched "The Day the Earth Stood Still" with Mom. It was pretty good. I also watched a Joseph Campbell film. High. It made me think.
How many fucking times do I have to install the activex control onto my lappy to upload an freaking album on fb?! Goddamn shitty wireless connection. At least this desky has a good connection.
I'm also listening to the music that Rica gave me. All of her music. Mostly it's been good. I should dl from JFizzle, SJ, and whoever else, really. I do miss the feeling of music being "mine," though. But we're on our way.
Cross your fingers for me.
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| doot doot |
[19 Aug 2008|06:09pm] |
So Harry Potter has been delayed until next summer. My sweetheart is definitely upset over that, but I admit I am a bit as well. Shawn can vouch for my ultra-nerdy anticipation at Harry Potter films. Speaking of Shawn, I must admit I miss that kid.
Work is lame. Duh.
Yesterday we picked up a way mediocre bag, but good times were definitely had last night. It was Adam's last night in town. He's Erica's boyfriend, and he's a pretty cool guy. Even if he is big and occasionally pokes fun at me for being small. I think I could take him.
*snarf*
This week is going to be hellacious if I can't get someone to take part of my shifts. I do not want to work 40+ hours the week before school.
I am excited that I only have to purchase two books this semester. The rest I have. Surprisingly, the school was offering the best price for these books. Maybe I just looked on amazon and half too late, and all the books were taken. *shrug* No harm done.
We've got some new people here on the job. I've been helping them out, which is pretty awesome. Yesterday a noob sat and listened in on my calls to get trained. It was the first time I've actually trained someone. Made me feel like a seasoned veteran here.
*sigh*
I am ready to leave work, though. And eat a ton of delicious food. Hopefully that card gets to me soon. I want delicious foodstuffs.
Which reminds me that I forgot to take Dani out to the Lagniappe yesterday. On Mondays they have a band, I hear. Maybe next Monday, since I won't be working.
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| dood is nice/ Ah! The hetero-normative paradigm! |
[18 Aug 2008|07:52pm] |
Randa, I liked your vid. Awesome.
Shawn, you have an awesome chest. Annnd, I likes your LOLObama. Very nice.
I also liked this little tidbit.
http://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/455262
Yes, I like Da NG.
I'm going home soon. Things have been nice. Erica's moved in. The house is in good enough order. Dani is beautiful.
Things were rough for a little while, but we both decided to just stop in our tracks and take a new path. Started new, and things are well.
( Landlord Rant. )
It's really pretty in MQT. Sunday was mid-80s and I was just about roasting. There have been a few days of relaxation, and I am appreciative. Leaving work in about half an hour.
Dani and I were also accepted for the Food Assistance Program, so that's pretty awesome. I'm excited to be able to eat awesome, healthy, delicious varieties of food. Oh, and meat!
Also donated plasma for the first time. That was not half bad, and I was amazed to learn a bit about the usefulness of my blood-proteins. I ate beans and an egg and toast and other things for breakfast, but was still starving as hell after the process. None the worse for wear, though. Mom wouldn't be happy if she knew I'd done it, but she doesn't have to know.
I asked her what she thought about it, and she goes off on some craziness about lazy hobos getting my precious fluids. Reminds me of Dr. Strangelove.
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| listen |
[31 Jul 2008|05:54pm] |
I don't care if you guys think this is weird; I think it's sweet and awesome. My teeth are happy-bunny-chattering.
So's I gets a call at work from a very pleasant old woman. A little ...old and she said she was waaay legally blind.
Anyway, I helped her out a bit and she's calling back tomorrow to see if we have better gas rates available. Hee. But anyway, she said she loved me before she hung up.
I think that's sweet.
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| termites |
[27 Jun 2008|05:45pm] |
So, Dani told me she's found termites in a couple of books in the house. So, being a good Samaritan, I just contacted our landlord to give them a heads up.
Me- Hi, Denise, it's Rachael.
Her- Hello.
Me- Just wanted to let you know, Dani and I found a couple of termites in our books. I don't know a lot about them, but Dani says they can really get to a house, so I thought I'd let you know.
Her- Oh... do you think the rabbits might have brought them?
Me- O_o Uhm... I don't know very much about termites, but based on my knowledge they eat wood and paper.
Her- Well, we've never had them before, is all. What did you do with them?
Me- (lying and pretty annoyed at this point, as I personally did not find any termites) We killed them.
Her- If you find any more, put them in a jar.
Me- Okay, thanks a lot. Goodbye.
*click*
Maybe she's never heard of termites. Or maybe she wants to milk us for all we're worth. What a strange person. That's the last favor I do my landlords.
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| soooo |
[26 Jun 2008|02:33pm] |
I am currently reliving Shawn's situation with landlord vs. pets. Thus, Dani and I are looking for a new place. The search is hard, and we miss the bunnies. They are currently at Jason's, which is like a five minute walk. Still, it's hard, and this bs has really made Dani and I hate our previous loveshack.
I guess it's exciting to try and find a new place, but the search is a little dry. There's one hot lead so far, but it's a foreclosure and the landlord needs to do a lot of work. I just hope Dani and I don't end up on somebody's couch for a month. *crosses fingers*
It would be awesome to live with Reeks. I hope that the house is big enough. It is really cute, washer/dryer, even a fireplace. Oooh!
Anyway, wish me luck, guys!
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| in the life |
[19 Jun 2008|02:37pm] |
a B is completely possible in accounting. That would be nice. Summer classes are easy, though Dani says they're more expensive. I must admit I'm not including myself in the financial aspect.
Not that accounting is easy for everyone, but it's not so bad for me, that's for sure. Not to mention Graci is a darn good prof.
It is beautiful out, but being stuck here at work sucks. I'll write more later, comp is giving me a headache.
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| too much happiness to write out |
[17 May 2008|01:46pm] |
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mood |
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Thursday:
Dani and I wake up. She goes to work, I sleep some more, do dishes, play with the buns. They're getting SO big. And beautiful. Dani and I got harness leashes for them, but it'll be a bit of practicing before we all feel ready to play outside.
I think Puck is starting to spray. Which means that his cutting's gonna come soon. But he's still being such a good boy. I don't really want to, but Dani and I think he will be friendlier and cuddlier. He's not as much of a stomper as he was when he first hit puberty, though. We'll see.
Dani got back home and we headed out to run some errands. We ran over to the Ace hardware in Harvey, where we had rented a U-Haul the day prior. I had tossed Dani's broom behind the seats in the cab when we were heading back and forgot it there. Unfortunately, the U-Haul we used was probably 1000 miles away, as we couldn't find it when we got there. I sent my mom her card (a little late, I know), and we headed on down to the A-Frame to clean.
That was quite a mission, but Dani and I were darn friendly with each other, and she was a great help to me. After it got a bit late, we still weren't quite done, so we'll finish up tomorrow.
We got back, and Dani had the stroke of genius to put some of our boxes in the basement, as we are relatively surrounded with boxes on the ground floor. For some reason I hadn't thought of something so elementary to free us up. Thank God for my woman.
We were both pretty pooped after running around much of the day, so we decided to take our cleaning lackadaisically. We picked up a couple of 40oz brews apiece, and started shipping stuff where it belonged. We got a ton of stuff out of the living room and generally where it belonged or in storage (as Winter has finally left the wild UP, thank God). After a bit we played some cards and drank and smoked a bit, cleaned some more, then tipsily decided to take a walk. It was about 12:30a at this point. We hid the 40s in Dani's bag and off we went. There were quite a few coppers around, which made my girl worry a little bit, but in nearly no time at all we were walking along the beach at Presque Isle. We sat for a moment and enjoyed the view, as there were a couple of stars out.
At Presque, there were a great many felled trees set up in piles on the side of the road. Dani and I took a look, as there were quite a few well-sized logs. We'd been having a bunch of hippy nature talk prior, so that and the beer probably helped our following emotionality. I walked off to look at the logs on my own, and all of a sudden I felt my eyes welling up. Dani and I both spilled some tears over the huge felled beauties.
As we continued walking, we nearly stepped on a herd of deer grazing and bedding down. That was fun. There were deer ALL over the place. After we sat and chatted for a bit, we almost stepped on a lone deer. Seriously, I've never been so close to a deer, and Dani agreed.
We got back home, Dani having finished her second 40. She was a little drunkish, as her every-five-minute-peeing outside indicated, but we crashed out. She was a little hung over the next morning for work, and thusly came back home sick with a migraine.
But that's enough of that. Things are good and happy. Barbecue and possible kegger next weekend for our housewarming.
Now I'm at work counting down seconds.
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| working hard |
[12 Apr 2008|01:48pm] |
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the semester is coming to a close, and that means it's time for me to make a mad dash for the grades. I've been doing alright so far, but I spent a couple weeks being lazy, and thus, am paying the price for it now. Such is life.
Also stressful is the fact that my rabbits reached sexual maturity today. Thus, they are attempting to fuck like rabbits. This is no good, as I do not have the time to devote to a rabbit farm. Also, I was here at work during the enlightenment. Dani was, thankfully. She split up their cage and tells me they're pretty upset. We're both pretty sure Simon is a female. Not only is Puck the only one mounting, Simon is restless, which is normal behavior for a doe that is ready for a buck.
Argh. And now Dani's online, telling me she has to get to work and Puck is behind the cage and not coming out.
Thank God I don't have kids yet. I guess you don't have to worry about sexual maturity for a while, and hopefully not about them having sex with each other, but damn.
Alright, I need to study. Peace.
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| awkward |
[09 Apr 2008|04:47pm] |
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DMB |
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so I just saw Erin in the halls of Gries. Not really a hall, but whatever. I accidentally brought up Leah, accidentally being because they broke up a few weeks ago. Well, turns out they're back together. I felt awkward about it, but it was funny on the whole for me cos Erin was saying she they're back together and they're just trying to spend less time together cos (this is where Leah entered the scene and walked behind Erin so Erin didn't notice) they drove each other crazy.
I got a chuckle out of that. I'm happy if they're happy, of course, but it was just one of those perfect moments.
Anyway.
Sociology is all over my brain. Gender, really. Sociology of gender. How and who would we be without sociology? I'm thrown off by how sexist I can be, toward men and women. I suppose many of us are. "Men are like this, women are like this."
As Danielle and I were stumbling home this Sunday at 5am, a fellow a half-block away hollered out to us, "Hey, girls, I'd like to fuck you!" Or something. It scared Dani. And of course, enraged me. At the same time, it saddened me. I apologized to her, and told her that because she is with me, she will have to worry about that more than if she were with a big man.
Otherwise, I've been contemplating an appropriate response to the harasser. I suppose appropriate depends upon what I would like my response to illicit.
I could get him angrier, and start a fight. That would be awesome, do dismantle his ego and build upon mine. It would be satisfying. That's easily done, as well, by calling him a dickless bastard, a cocksucker, a pussy bitch, whatever.
Or I could attempt to make him question his action. I figure reminding someone of their mother is a good way to do this. Ask him if his parents taught him any manners, or whether he'd talk to his mother like that.
I dunno.
Either way, when I'm walking around, I wonder at the souls of men. Women I know. I can put myself in the shoes of most women. Aside from those who injure their children, or continually consider themselves less... I dunno, I guess the latter gives me great room for error.
Either way, I have a greater tendency to consider men the evil in this world. It's the Knives in me. Some of them, many more than women (in my opinion) are the spiders of the world. Nonetheless, I've generalized far too much. Sure, the people who catcall and injure and maim are usually men. The people who offend me are most often men. But there are many who don't. The two men sitting in this room with me, I certainly believe that they would not engage in such behavior. I'm not sure.
My dad has this idea as well. When he and I had my coming out conversation, he told me that any man would be capable of pulling the trigger at me. That I threaten them because they don't know to relate to me as a man or a woman, that they think I'm invading their territory. Of course, this is bullshit. I know it is. But I suppose there's a living child in me that believes these nightmarish fairy tales. Psh. Who among humans should invoke fear in me? Not any group.
No group, that's for sure. Certain individuals, and certain individuals leading a group in front of me. But no group of individuals.
Their stocky struts, the larger shoes, facial hair and easy muscular growth, and the rigidity of the space in the crotch of their pants, what is my disgust to do with them? I suppose it's mine to own and conquer, a bad habit from childhood. It started with boys telling me I was inferior as a girl, my own father telling me so. But that's theirs to conquer. I should know it's bullshit, and the internalizations, my identifying with the oppressor is a cancer. I should rid myself of that, and my feelings that they are all one and the same.
There are plenty of women to look up to.
On a lighter note, it's 6 months tomorrow.
Spring sweet rhythm, dance in my head
And slip into my lover's hands
Kiss me won't you kiss me now
And sleep I would inside your mouth
Dont be us too shy
For knowing it's no big surprise
That I will wait for you
I will wait for no one but you
O please Lover lay down
Spend this time with me
Together, share this smile
Lover lay down
Spend this time with me
Walk with me, walk with you
Hold my hands your hands
So much we have dreamed
And we were so much younger
Hard to explain that we are stronger
A million reasons life to deny
Let's toss them away
See you and me, we
Lay down look see
She and he
By my Lover's side
Together share this smile
Tell those tears to cry
Together share this smile
Lover lay down
Oh please, oh please
Lover lay down
Oh please Lover lay down
And you weep Lover lay down
Cause it's over Lover lay down
Say love, say love, say love, say love, say love
Could I love you
Could you love me
Darling, it's all the same
til we dance away
Chasing me all around
Leading me all around
Leading me all around in circles
Say.......
Alright. Tons of homework coming up. Let's get to't.
-P.S. Fuck you, Dad. Take a gender course.
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| On a lighter note |
[22 Mar 2008|07:18pm] |
Today was enjoyable. I got to see my community, and that was more fun than I thought it would be.
Though I've been thinking far too much for my own good recently.
Dani and I are moving into a nice two-bedroom on Wilkinson. You are all more than welcome to come and party in our awesome little place. Barring out inability to make rent, in which case you will find us... pft. No idea.
The bunnies are darn cute. They're starting to love me.
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| I realize that with every relationship |
[15 Feb 2008|05:52pm] |
I am challenged in a new way that I've never been challenged before.
For instance, sex.
Didn't sex used to be one of our strong points? Where I was so happy to meet a woman that was sexual?
*sigh*
She and I just aren't used to the same things from our sex.
I'm even too embarassed or something to talk about this. But that's how I feel about the real problems, really. Maybe letting people know makes it more real.
She just has a darn good knack at saying the wrong thing in bed. wtf?
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| labours to come... |
[28 Jan 2008|01:09pm] |
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mood |
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 creative |
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but it's been so long, so we all deserve a quick update.
Reading your entries has been fun.
Life has been fun.
What's new?
Well, I have a beautiful woman all but living with me. We're ironing out the kinks and that seems to be going... very well, I daresay.
Not that there aren't kinks to iron, but we express, and change occurs. It's almost too good to be true. I'm trying to not be silly and scared.
What /is/ a substitute for baking powder, indeed?
I've quit smoking for the semester. Just for the sake of assuring good grades this semester, and more money in my pockets. Save for a couple of days (4/20 and whenever my friend Laura's birthday is).
My hair has grown. Everyone who sees me for the first in a while points it out, and they seem to like it. Me, well, it's growing on me. Heh. But seriously, I dunno. It looks pretty, and I like the long handle, and my hairs get nice and wavy every once in a while, which I like. It's just more of a pain.
But enough of my vanity. And oh, I am.
I re... what's that word? Moved stuff around in my place. I dig it. Trying to think of a cool and flexible idea for seating. Like large beanbags. There's a beanbag cushion online called the sumo something-or-other. Pretty sweet, but I'm thinking on it.
I miss my mama.
Alright, lots to do!
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anemptymind's journal
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